Endings

An email that I received in the dark hours of morning this fall bore the title "Endings". It was from an old friend and former boyfriend, confessing that our friendship was driving his current girlfriend to a level of insecurity approaching psychosis. He expressed remorse, I wished him well, and that was it. These things are supposed to be painful, but our dissolved friendship felt like a necessary and even pleasurable process, an option I never thought available.
Change can render many situations inadequate. You won't see doctors busting out their drills for good old-fashioned terpination much these days, nor is a pony the best way to get to class anymore (though many ladies wish it were). Change hits, you adapt, and hopefully you don't lose too much in the fire.
Many things have changed for me recently, most notably my acceptance into a dual master's program at UO. I am a full-time student, PR director, administrative aide, and financial aid recipient. That last part gives me the freedom, if I choose, to get my own place and leave the days of hot plates and toaster ovens behind me.
I chose.
I can now boast a real kitchen, with a real oven and a stove with four burners. I can operate both simultaneously without shorting out the entire circuit. I can close the door to my bedroom to mitigate the cooking smells that seep into my bedspread. I have counter space, a dishwasher, closed cupboards that don't invite cat traffic and pounds of dust. This may not seem like much to brag about, but it is more than I have known in two and a half years and I am grateful to the point of crying. However, a full kitchen renders my project here a little obsolete.
My last supper in the house was the typical Thursday night feast, with all of the usual characters in attendance (aside from Fitz). I made penne rigate with lamb, feta, parsnips, tomatoes, and cinnamon, and piled it all into big, comforting bowls. The four of us (Ben, Andrew, Miguel, and me) wrapped ourselves around our food, watched "Psych", and quietly accepted the new chapter. Andrew commented sweetly on the idea of me with a full kitchen: "If she can make this using just a hot plate, with a full kitchen she can cure cancer."
Thank you, guys. Thank you for everything.
And as a special note, thank you to Benjamin for doing all that he could to give me comfortable surroundings and a place that I could call home. Thank you for the gadgets, the encouragement, and the time that you made salmon with pumpkin seed and cilantro relish. Thank you, thank you, a thousand times thank you.